It’s almost time for my least favorite part of the semester. You might ask, “The looming final project? The paralyzing fear of graded evaluation? The struggles of realizing how much you think you actually learned?”
But no, my friends. My least favorite part of the semester is the weird queasiness of already preparing for the next. I’m registered thanks to my advisor, who also sent me the required reading list. I’ve also been billed for the whole whopping tuition; I’ve only written one check so big, and I can’t forget another one is coming for me again in January.
This degree better be pretty for what it’s costing me.
At the same time, though, I have to keep in mind the privilege that allows me to take on this cost of higher education. I’m lucky to have the savings and a good job to keep me going financially. It may not always sound like it, but I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity. All of this on top of househunting has been kind of exhilarating – if not for the crushing weight of panic that tends to accompany money issues.
Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking into the scary future – and I can only do so much to keep up.