Four more classes. Graduation and everything that comes with it is creeping closer, I can almost taste the freedom from academia.
If only I could finish this class first.
I am absolutely running on empty. The repetitive course schedules are good for building routine habits, and it’s nice to have an internal clock for when things are supposed to happen and what comes next. After four straight classes since January, though, that routine gets to be bad for the doldrums. Discussion posts are rote and unhelpful as I try to show off what I know without really taking a stance. Assignments seem arbitrary. Final projects are just exhausting. The whole process makes me long for the break I won’t have until Christmas.
Maybe that’s the problem: I just want a break – from the continuous tasks, the financial burden, the pressing responsibility. I want to be nineteen again, coming home for winter break and taking a pause from the hamster wheel of collegiate learning.
That’s what they don’t tell you about grad school programs “for the working professional;” it’s all the panicked stress of college without the joy of putting off adulthood a little longer. Nope, sorry, you’ve got to pay your bills – especially that tuition – and keep your grades up, all while not crying.
Want to see a magic trick? Ask someone who’s figured out how to do that last part, because I’d like to know how they did it. Until that happens, though, I’ll be the girl counting pennies for textbooks and hammering out yet another essay on a hypothetical case study no one will ever read.
See you next Christmas.